Well I made it back from the conference alive... I really enjoyed it... Lots of great entertainment, meet some really awesome christian people, and realized now more than ever how much I love my boy friend.  I can't stand to be away from him... I mean out of town... It think that it is great that we don't see each other all of the time but I hate it when I'm out of town.... I have good news and bad news.... bad news HAVE TO lose like so much weight, good news is so I can look good for two of my friends wedding... first one Jen and Harry in March and then my friend Dave's wedding it so cool cause I'm going to be on his side... cool stuff huh??? The youth conducted church tonight it was so awesome... Beth spoke... She delivered a great word and I was so proud of her... we have this really good weird realationship... she makes me want a more intimante realationship with my creator.... Tomorrow is Turkey Day... Mine and the man's first holiday together... It will be great...The 3 "F's" lots of  food football and family.... Everyone be blessed and have a great Holiday....

Signing out as........ tired

I leave for conference in 3 days... I still have so much to do and I am still 5 schools away from my larger bonus... The program has been a pain in the tail all day... I am so ready for it all just to be over. Tasha is really on the verg of a nervous break down and I really don't blame her... no joke she does the work of about 2 full-time employees. Not to metion she has a family to take care of... I really just lift her up to the Lord to give her peace and keep her controlled... I am about to rip mu own hair out as well... I stay focused you would never really know that I was about to blow but inside I fill like eating a pack of cigerretts and drinking a 40... but I'll not and pray instead...

Wow... Right now at this very moment Nikki is about to have her baby!!! How cool is that... I mean I will have known this child from the moment of it's birth just like Dale or Phil has known me... Our kids will probably grow up together... well mine will be quite younger I assume... any way it's just very cool... How lucky is she to assist God is such a miricle... I have to go i will be leaving work soon to go back to the hospital... River Garrett Ivy and all his anointing is about to flow into the world...

So as my friend mallori has a problem shopping... my problem is spending money... I mean I spend money like I make 100,000 a year... I just realized it was a problem when I needed to pay my car payment today and saw I was $ 180 Short!!! I mean I don't shop well I did this weekend but just a little... I just eat and drive too much and buy little things like coffee and books and it adds up after a while... I really need God to come through and show some mercy on my ignorance and bless me out of this holw I have gotten my self into once again... the hard part is that I have a father who must know everything I spend my money on and why I am not just paying all my bills off early and saving money... Like he never spends money and like he always pays everything early... Try again pops... any ways I 'm now having to work my rear end off at outback because I need money to catch up on all my bills... so all this stress and Tasha tells me I owe her $50.00 for some stupid stuff I bought from her sons fundraiser... Lord Help Me !!!

I leave next thursday for our Houston conference... I still need like 5 schools to hit the money... Thank ya Jesus that they are coming in... This weekend was solemn assembly at church... It was good... I just really feel repentance differently than most... I will not lay on the ground and cry and beg for mercy... that it is not repentance... Repentance is when you turn from it and do not return... a change of heart not a change of mind... But I did repent, and I praised... but I feel differently about worship as well, you will not see me on my face and making a big seen... I believe that that is praising God... The word says worship him in Spirit and in Truth... I believe that we worship God with Holiness and Righteousness... Not that everyone agrees with me but that is what the Lord has shown me for my life...He also gave me a great vision of being humble... true meekness and humility is sitting at the foot of the cross not standing on the top of the cross... Get it??? As chrisitians we tend to beat people up with religion and what we know and how we are better than everyone in the world because we have found Jesus... we are not better, we are simply more in line with the word and are on a more healthy path, no better in God's eyes though. Do you love the child who minds you more than the child who is disobedinent??? Not at all you just have a better relationship with the obedinet child because of the their willingness to obey and love you and accept your love... I think that that is how God thinks about us... Also This is new from the thrown room to amanda's brain... David and man after God's own heart right??? of corse in 2 sam 2 ( i think) David is asking where to go... and God says the thrown... and david is so beautiful when he replies which way do I go??? He didn't just want to get to the thrown, he wanted to get there God's way... How amazing... it smacked me in the face... like a brick... Most of the time we finally figure out where God is taking us and dump his direction, when he doesn't just give us a destination He gives us a direct path to get there... I love when God speaks to me... I that is when I feel the most intiament with Him... That's why I tell people when He speaks to me because it makes me the most fulfilled... kinda like when I guy tells to something you've been longing to here him say... Wow thank you Lord for understanding me and sending me a man who not only understands me but feels the same way to ( on some topics the important ones at least ) yeah I love him... I feel like I did when we first started dating... that newness came back... Every relationship is sweeter when you place the Lord at the center of it... My word for today is why ask God for an answer to a question... He know what you need... Simply seek His face and His way and He will drop all the answers you need in your lap

Out as................... an open heart with open ears

Have you ever had one of those days that you feel like you can't do anything right??? So you realize you are having one of those days and so really try and concentrate... and you still screw up??? That is the kinda day I'm having in the office today. I have looked over the same information about 6 times today... and deep in my heart I still don't know if it is right or not... I take that back in the name of Jesus it's right!!! I also just found out that my flight for Houston is not until late thursday therefor I will miss setting up Registration, in a way I am happy because it is a lot of work, but on the other hand I want to be there in case something goes wrong or their is any confusion. Also I really want to go to Lakewood on Sunday Morning, but so does Jessica and she's the bosses wife so now I don't know. I kinda dumpped on Lee for about.... oh I don't know... All night... See I have a little problem with holding everything in and exspecting Him to be able to read my mind... and He can't... which upsets me.... I He has weird ways of expressing feeling.. He expresses LOVE great he always makes sure I know that... but what else??? How did I sound when you heard me speaking??? Do you like my mind??? are you proud of my testimony??? Do you have faith in me and my ministry???I also really don't want to say anything because I am not into munipulating people into being what I want them to be or makeing them doing something for me... I really don't know how much I( like my job any more... I have never worked any where where I wasn't appreciated... I mean not to boast but I am the stuff when it comes to an office... but it's like here they don't care... They give me a least a possible which drives me crazy because I like to stay busy... I like to complete stuff... weird... any ways the Lord is in control of my life now more than ever. .. so what am I worring about... My parents are coming home... Thank God... I miss them... Oh I want to go somewhere next week end... but where??? Got to go to job number tow now....

Well... Friday I worked at Outback made like 80 bucks which isn't bad for like 4 hours... Got in bed late like 2am... Lee had a game Friday and didn't get to my house until like 1:30am we ate some taco bell and then went to sleep. Satudrday morning we woke up at like 10:30 (we wanted to wake up at like 8:30 but oh well) we hit the road about 11:00 and began "OUR FIRST ROAD TRIP" ( I wrote friday about this on my blog but it didn't post) anyway It was the most amazing day... we drove over mountains to a little town names Dahlonega. It was an old gold mining town It was awsome for me... It had and old book store and an old barbar shop, and ice cream parlor, lil' cafe and wine tasting rooms, I can not tell you how much I enjoyed it... then we went to Burt's Pumpkin Farm... Talk about a lot of pumpkins... We bought 4 2 big ones and 2 little bitty ones we are ging to carve them tonight ( i'm so excited about it) Then we ate at the "SmithHouse" which was a very weird resturant concept... you just sat down with like 8 other people you didn't even know and just... ate... Oh my Gosh the food was so amazing, It was country cooking real good country cooking. Then we headed home... we drove back through Cherokee... I didn't stop and gamble though... We stoppped at the top at New Found Gap... The sky was so clear I have never seen so many stars... Thier was snow their!!! Talk about heaven... on the top of a mountain in the fall in the arms of the man who loves you and gazing into the clear blue noght... The whole trip was like a movie, kinda like a weird romance movie. Then we made it home and passes out... I have never had so much fun in a car for 12 hours... I love him... more now than ever... Sunday I taught school of leaders and the Lord used me propheticly (is that a word???) anyway it was very cool. Then Pastor alter called all of the young people under 30 and He prayed over a few I was one of them... He said " Amanda you are a preacher and a Teacher and You will prophise and you think you are a motivational speaker but you hundereds times more than that... you will preach to people about charcater and integrety" I about fell out because I had just given a word that morning and I hacve been cleaning up my life to be able to have a foot to stand on to speak into others lives... I have kicked two bad habits and Just laying everything else at his feet... there is a few more very clear things that I need to get in order but it's coming and the Lord is about to move... I have began my week long fast for our solemn assybly this weekend... I studied today on my luch and the word is UNITY, ONE ACCORD, UNITE YUR SELF WITH WHAT YOU WANT TO BECOME... I must get up early in the morning for prayer... what an honor... Oh Happy Scary Demonic Day...( Except for carving pumkins) Signing out as............... In love and ready to be moved

Is 58 talks about the kind of fast that is approved by God... One of giving and genorosity... not one of quarrling and anger... My fast today was full of all of the things that Is 58 says to avoid and for that I repent to God and Man... Mallori Farmer is one of the most intergrious women I know and I am blessed to know Her... She is a spotless bride in the mist of a world of harlots She is an inspiration to me... I am so excited about what the Lord is doing in the Church... everyone is getting torn out of our comfort zones and I think it is great... I am completley but if I'm out of my zone and I'm not in Satan's than I must be in God's... I love being out of control and ridding in the passenger seat as the Lord takes control of my life. I have arrived at the place of either step up or step out... don't just come fill a pew... don't just raise your hands because you seem Holy, It has become a time to lay on your face in front of everyone... When people say "weap between the poarch and the Alter" It is a place when people can see you makeing yourself into a living sacrafice... standing between them and God... I am ready to be ready... The Lord has given me some awesome revelation on healing and truth... Healing and truth are not always pleasent but you merly must go through the present pain to avoid the future devestation... I know the Lord is going to give me a House!!! and I have started sowing for it and had more than one comformation about it... Thank you God... For the house that is coming and the family I have now, friends whom I love and just for the fact that I woke up today... I sat down at the foot of the cross again... That is what I missed I am not onw or the other... a Mary or a warrior... I am both... What do you think makes great teachers and pastors and warriors... Ones that when they return from the battle they sit at the feet and prepare for the next... On a side note the new Shawn McDonald CD is rocking me... I love this time of year... It's getting colder and everything is so vibrant in color... How can you not believe when you witness the beauty<

singing out as................. Blessed and repentant